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angin itu terus bertiup dengan lembut menemani satu per satu derik langkahku menggema menyatu dengan bunyi retakan hatiku kemanakah langkah ku... tanpa malam, tanpa siang hanya senja itu... aku tersesat... didunia kelabu dan lembayung dalam taman lavender yang luas ini tanpa bintang, tanpa bulan, tanpa matahari hanya gemerlap cahaya itu... di ujung horizon sana cahaya yang kau hadirkan dalam duniaku... aku tersesat... pada senja yang takkan pernah berubah menjadi pagi pada senja yang takkan pernah berubah menjadi malam pada senja yang selamanya adalah fajar dan fajar yang selamanya adalah senja karna ku sadari kau takkan pernah membalas perasaan ini.

What do i know about the difference between the fireflies,  the stars and the sunshine?   like a lullaby that embrace the silence... a chuckle smile,  where are you a lost little fairy?  dont go to far just dance with your magical spark's~ 

What hurt the most is when you open your eyes and face the reality, pretend everything is okay. nothing happen with your heart, nothing... Pretend to be strong.

in the day my heart just broken again, He says this :  Isaiah 46:4   Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he,I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. and now i realize how lucky i am all this time. He never leave me, though i was a stupid person who hurt others without realizing it, im a sinner but still He loves me in wonderful way. How lucky i am to have God like Him. really really lucky 💜

a Butterfly,  flying low among the wild flower glowing under the sunrise, in abandoned garden. . Hope~

you know, love can be like magic  you began to ask yourself  "what the hell is happening to me?" "why this smile still curved on my lips?" "why i can't stop thinking about him?" "ooh nooo why he become suddenly adorable" . . "why he cannot stop apearing on my mind!?"

with the heart wrenching in pain, i keep the music playing on my ear... not a sad song nor a happy one half of my heart sobbing with anger and half with pain frustrated. hate myself was the first option pathetic. i really wanted to cry right now but found myself  couldn't i can't keep my mind straight i wanna shout off course i can't there are many monsters in this world... obvious. . . ah what am i thinking ? many bad days... but, still its a miracle to live and see He never leave you.us. all. in the end. ❤God.